Premium Essay

What Is Romantic Love?

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By whho
Words 540
Pages 3
In a strange way, romantic love is the least understood part of the human psyche because we are content in believing that “it just happens”, that it is something so sacred that it clearly resists rational understanding, or that it is an entirely different experience for everyone such that it is impossible to articulate. Indeed, social psychology textbooks talk a great deal about the factors that impact relationship formation (proximity, familiarity, shared attitudes etc), but they typically do not have a lot to say about romantic love as something separate from platonic friendships. But perhaps underneath the mystical, maybe even mythical, glow of love’s façade, there is something that we can articulate and talk about meaningfully. And perhaps understanding romantic love empowers us rather than corrupting love through deliberate exploration. This is a story about romantic love from four different intertwined perspectives: fairy tales, Jungian psychology, collected interviews, and biology. This is a story about what four different perspectives can tell us about romantic love.

It makes the most sense to begin with a clarification of terminology – what do we mean by “romantic love”? Almost 3 decades ago, in 1978, Elaine Hatfield wrote a seminal book on the topic of love - teasing apart passionate and companionate love. She defined passionate love as "a state of intense longing for union with another" and companionate love as "the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined". Around the same time, Dorothy Tennov was trying to answer the same question in her book "Love and Limerence" and, similar to Hatfield, quickly differentiated between the “love” that is sincere concern and caring as opposed to the “love” that is fiery, euphoric and ephemeral. But Tennov realized that there is something more irrational and complex about this latter kind of…...

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

What Love Is...

...paying minimum payments for their debts will make them have more debts eventually. (Go into details) 9 Use credit wisely: They have couple loan for credit cards now, so it is important for them to learn how to use credit cards wisely. (Go into details) Chapter 6 10 Cost of ownership: The total of owning and operating a car. Calculate the fixed costs and variable costs. Can they afford to own a car? Will it increases their financial burden? 11 What can you afford? Vehicle selection: They should consider the total cost including all of the above expenses to make an estimate of the cost of car ownership. This is an important part of their budget. Also knowing how to selection is important for them. They already have many debts, their second car really aggravate their financial crisis. They should know what they can afford before and how to select vehicle that will not cause of financial burden. 12 Vehicle financing: Pay cash if possible. They will earn interest on their savings and save finance interest charges. Chapter 7 13 What can you afford? Renting versus home ownership: Renting provides more flexibility, lower maintenance costs, and less up-front cash than home ownership. Also they should not spend more than 25 to 30 percent of their take-home pay on housing. 14 Qualifying for a mortgage: The ideal down payment is 20% or more of the price of the home. They should have that much in savings to qualify for a mortgage. If not, save until they have to purchase a......

Words: 682 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

What Is Love

...English 111 8 October 2012 “What is Love?” In our world today, love has far more meaning than just a feeling for someone. Love is not only a feeling but it is classified as a desire in which many people do not have. Defined in the dictionary, love is “the most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone”. People often mistake lust for love. Very few people actually know what “true love” is and can become confused with all of the meaning of the word love. One may come to realize that love is unique and different from person to person. Not only can love be affection, but also it can be some sort of attachment to another person or object. Love is a very broad emotion that can be powerful, but also can be pleasurable. Love is difficult to define whether one agrees or not, because of the diverse meanings associated with it from person to person. Love requires a lot of commitment, and without commitment love cannot grow. Today’s society has been caught up in themselves and forget what love truly is. Often, they find themselves worried about other things. Love is like a tornado, it comes fast but when gone leaves destruction. It is uncontrollable and at times can take over the best of us. In addition, love requires communication. Communicating your feelings and thoughts to someone is an essential part of love and is very important. Communication helps to be open and trustworthy with that person to get to know who you really are. Love is having compassion and......

Words: 301 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

What Is Love

...non-living object. That feeling is love. Love is felt in different intensities; it may consume your whole being, or perhaps it’s just a little crush. Some people search for what seem their whole lifetimes for love, whereas others may seem to fall in and out of love on a regular basis. Of course, here we are talking about people. We can love many things, but the love between two people is unique and special. Love is rarely defined because everyone experiences it differently. What one person thinks is love, another may think is infatuation or vice versa. How does one know he or she is in love? How is it possible to distinguish between the love of romance and the love shared between friends? In order to understand love, we need to first understand the two major types of love: romantic love and friendship love. People often define romantic love based on its difference from friendship love. Would you kiss your friend? Perhaps, but it is not necessarily the things you do with your romantic partner that makes your love romantic. Romantic love is often confused with infatuation because it is so allconsuming. Romantic lovers are usually on each other’s minds. A person may make decisions based on his or her romantic partner, such as whether or not to move to a different province for a job and leave his or her partner behind. People make large life decisions based on their romantic partners because they......

Words: 387 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

What Does It Mean to Say That Romantic Love Is a Moral Issue Do You Agree

...It is not easy to act both generally and individually morally, when people are blinded by passion and flourish of romantic love. That is why someone calls romantic love is a moral issue. Morality differentiate actions into right and wrong, and right actions are constituted by permissible and obligatory (Halwani 2010, p.89). We should eschew wrong actions, however, can we summarise romantic love is morally prohibited? Sometimes love hurts people when love is selfish or attachment; while sometimes love also brings happiness and support from outside of us. Romantic love is beyond dualism, just like Halwani (2010, p.92) states ' romantic love is not a basic good...it is not morally suspect either.' Then, how romantic love connects with right actions? If romantic love is our obligation, morality is uncorrelated. Whereas if romantic love is permissible that people can choose may or may not to undertake it, morality would intervene in decision making. 'Romantic love is not under our command, which means it is not something we are able to do at will' (Halwani2010, p.90). Romantic love is accidental; people just can not control the time, the place and the person that they will fall in love with. As a result, we can conclude that romantic love is not obligatory. Therefore, romantic love is neither obligatory nor prohibited; the only probability of romantic love is to be permissible. This appears a question about whether people should undertake it in their lives. To answer the question,...

Words: 1401 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Discuss Romantic Love in Romeo and Juliet

...Discuss romantic love in Romeo and Juliet Romantic love is a recurring theme throughout the play. Shakespeare introduces Romeo at the beginning of the play when he is depressed about love. “Out of her favour, where I am in love” He’s been rejected by Rosaline despite his efforts to court her. However, this is not seen as romantic love, but just infatuation. Romeo is portrayed as innocent towards love and has not yet experience so-called “true love”. The idea of romantic love is shown all the play. Shakespeare presents this as a force of nature. This idea is established in the play’s prologue “a pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life.” When Romeo meets Juliet at the Capulet’s party, Romeo’s feelings towards Rosaline are completely forgotten. “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night” this shows how awestruck Romeo is with not only with the possibility of love but also with Juliet’s beauty. Romeo and Juliet's love can be seen as fate. Romeo and Juliet’s love is not prevented by the Capulet and Montague households, and Juliet is to marry Paris. Yet, they find themselves drawn together. Juliet’s attitude to love is rather different to Romeo’. In the beginning, she appears to be very mature towards the feelings of love when discussing the prospects of marrying Paris. “I’ll look to like, if looking liking move” Paris’ love for Juliet is borne out of tradition, not passion. He has identified her as a good candidate for...

Words: 412 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

What Is Love

...What is love, some may ask. In 1976, a researcher, John A. Lee conducted a series of intensive experiments with different people just to answer that question. He found that people have different definitions for love. He concluded 6 different love styles, which are Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Manic, and Agape. It is very important that we are all aware of these different love styles so then we can learn to understand people better and have an idea of the kind of person they are. Once we somewhat understand people, it is a bit easier for us to communicate with them and sympathize with them in a way that they comprehend. Even if you have never heard these terms before, I am more than positive that you have either experienced one of these, know someone who experienced them, or seen a movie that portrays one of them. The first love style that John A. Lee mentions is Eros. According to Lee, Eros is the Greek word for “erotic” or “passionate”. Eros lovers choose their lovers by chemistry or intuition and base their love on aesthetic enjoyment. They are hopeless romantics, easily hurt by their partner’s criticism, and separation from their partner’s causes agony and despair. I believe the first 6 months of my relationship with my boyfriend was an Eros type of love. We were with each other at all times and we used any spare time we had to talk about very intimate topics or just to kiss. We couldn’t stand being away from each other for too long and would miss each other right away.......

Words: 1200 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Whats Love Got to Do with It

...but the highest of those is love. Although love has been an elusive topic; it is a word that most well-known biologists, philosophers and psychologists have been seeking to define for centuries. Wars have been raged and fought because of it, friendships have been started and ended due to it and many romantic relationships have been intiated and depleted because of this four letter word. What exactly is love and why does it seem so radically important to obtain? In order to better understand and define love, research articles and surveys were examined to better clarify the question of “what does love have to do with it?”. Many of the articles researched involve the neuroscience of the brain which will further clarify the question of whether men and women use their hearts to fall in love or whether they are set-up to act on a process made in the brain? The progression by which men and women transform their “fairy tale” mindset and distinguish the movement into what a realistic long-lasting loving relationship, has scientifically been proven to be vastly different. I will use two major research strategies: (1) a qualitative research method of the feasibility of how the body reacts to falling in love amoungst both the male and the female sexes and (2) surveying of how men and women vary differently when it comes to love and the art of being in love. The theory of love has been studied throughout history. Questions of “what is love” and “what love has to do with it” has......

Words: 593 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

What Is Love

...Before when people hear the word "Love" the first thing that pops to their mind is love for family, friends, opposite gender, or sometimes for animals. But lots of people now a day’s love “things” like gadgets, clothes, books, cars, etc. Well my point is, today people almost love everything around them. Now let’s focus on “Books”, what are the advantages when you love books. First is Knowledge, when you read books everything that you read fills your head with new kinds of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to face any challenge you’ll ever encounter. Second is it Reduce Stress, When I’m reading a book, my mind shifts gears. Where I might have a stressful day, a book can easily distract me. Fiction and Sci-fi is fantastic for this. Reading an awesome book is perfect right before bed time. Though sometimes it’s hard to put the book down if it’s really good. Still, you’ll be relaxed. Lastly it widens our Imagination, when we read fiction or sci-fi books we usually use our imagination to enjoy the story. As a fan of fiction and sci-fi books it really is useful, cause when I’m reading it I feel like I’m with the protagonist having the best adventure we can possibly have. That is some of the reason why we should read, and why we should love to read. Reading helps us with our study and other stuffs. So to those who hates to read, they should start to read even it’s a comic, mangga, or......

Words: 286 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea- Romantic Love

...Consider the presentation of romantic love in “Jane Eyre” making wider reference to “Wide Sargasso Sea” “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte, published in 1847, has one key theme which is love. However it also contains Gothic conventions throughout which prevents the novel from being merely an archetypal romance. The novel is about a young woman who is isolated from people. However, when she gets a job working for Mr Rochester she falls in love with him. Later it is revealed that he's married to a woman, who is portrayed as being mad. In contrast, the romantic love in "Wide Sargasso Sea" written in 1966 is presented in a different way. Although Antoinette initially has a hopeful attitude to romantic love in Wide Sargasso Sea, the attitude of the man, especially in section two reveals that he only marries her for her money. Ellen Michetetii says “the heart and soul of ‘Jane Eyre’ is the passionate love between Jane and her employer.” "Romance" is defined in the Chambers dictionary as "expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love". Leslie Gelbman says a romance must make the “romantic relationship between the hero and heroine… the core of the book”. This is what “Jane Eyre” does. Similarly “Wide Sargasso Sea” focuses on a single relationship the one between “the man” and Antoinette; however, although the relationship in “Jane Eyre” is reciprocal, in “Wide Sargasso Sea” Antoinette’s love is not returned. Rhys based......

Words: 1690 - Pages: 7

Free Essay

What Is Love

...hat is Love?  Romantic Love  Is love chemical?  Love can't be just pheromones, surely body chemistry changes. Although, perhaps that is why people break up after a while. Maybe they were attracted to each other at one point, but then the pheromones they were giving off change and the other person is no longer attracted to them.  What is attraction based on? What attracts one person to another?  People have said they have fallen in love before meeting in person, thanks to the Internet. Pheromones can't account for that. If someone falls in love, without meeting the other person (in-person), what is left? Voice, a photo or two, etc. Perhaps attraction is oral. But attraction can't be just voice, because plenty of people are attracted to people they have only seen in photos.  It seems like attraction is a very multifaceted concept. People fall in love without meeting  Can anyone fall in love without meeting the other person? Can someone fall in love with someone they have seen only in a photo?  This seems unlikely, so perhaps love is based on being attracted to... ... middle of paper ...  ...e snorting cocaine, because we are spending time with someone kind, who subconsciously reminds us of our grandmother, or some other person we loved in a parent/child way. Perhaps who we love is love based on previous experiences. I know whom I love and I know why I love them, but I couldn't have identified those people at first sight, nor do I believe I have a......

Words: 314 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

What Is Love?

...What is Love? ENG105 What is Love? Most people are likely to say ‘Love is a wonderful thing’. This is a statement that can lead to much argument depending on those one may ask. This particular statement does not define what love actually is but rather state that love is wonderful. Every individual has a different definition of love. Most people love things such as their animals, books, hobbies, God, friends and families. There are different types of love for each of these things. The definition of love cannot be described with one definition but with several. When love is first thought of, most minds migrate to that of romance. Being “in love” often makes one feel somewhat funny. There are often feelings of the heart racing, sweaty palms, and butterflies in one’s stomach. That moment tends to be the best moment ever and one hopes it will last forever. Both individuals in the relationship try to make each other as happy as possible. Often times your own happiness gets placed on the back burner in hopes of making your spouse happier. The love for another person can often have other feelings with it that include fear, anger, selfishness, lust, happiness, sadness and loneliness. The love for a significant other is one that is complicated but one that everyone desires. There is the love of a family. Family does not have to be those that you are related to but those that hold a special place in your heart. The one’s that you are closest to. The love for......

Words: 502 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

What Is Love

...What is love? Love is known as an emotion, which can also be used in action. Such as helping someone with groceries or giving donation to the homeless. This is showing love for the world we live in, and the community around us. In the dictionary the word love means a feeling of warm attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. The types of love defined in the modern society; is family love, materialistic love, and godly love. The love for family is common throughout all cultures, ethnicities, and regions of the world. Love for family sometimes feels mandatory, but comes fairly easy, to most people. Its easy to give, and receive family love because these people are your own flesh and blood. A strong suit shown in family love is respect. For example, the husband protects, guides, and provides for his family. As the father does his duties, the family takes care of one another, helping the father generally order their lives. Family is ranked as one of the most important type of loves for my living standards. Another type of love popular in our day and age, is materialistic love. This love is fueled by desire of worldly things; such as cars, clothes, and jewelry. Materialistic love is sometimes a dishonorable type of love, but feels good to man. In today’s world people are interested in other people’s viewing of their lifestyle; like buying the most expensive cars from dealerships, just to be viewed as cool or wealthy. And blinded by the......

Words: 525 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

What Love Is?

...RAM, and a 500GB hard drive, this model guarantees efficiency with all the user’s tasks despite its small size. Another advantage of the HP Pavilion 11 Touchsmart Notebook over its competition is its touchscreen feature and 3hr and 45min battery life. It also includes a good arrangement of ports that can be used for additional work or as a media source, a full-sized SD card slot, a webcam, Bluetooth, and a combined headphone/microphone function, among many others. Lenovo IdeaPad Z50-70(Price starts at Php 26,921) A 15.6-inch laptop with full-HD 1920 x 1080 display, discrete nVidia graphics processor, and a fourth-generation Intel Core i3, the Lenovo IdeaPad Z50-70 guarantees a fantastic gaming experience (which gamers would absolutely love) unlike with other similar laptops there is. It also has a battery life that can last up to 5 hours, along with a sub-2.4 kg weight, which benefit hustling users too by increasing their productivity levels. Lenovo didn’t forget to focus on design as well through its metallic trim cover on the top deck, real metal on the circumference, and a satin silver finish on the back of the display. With these eight inexpensive laptops we’ve shared, we hope that you find the most suitable one for your needs. Remember to take all important aspects into consideration to get the best value for your money!...

Words: 1060 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

What Is Love?

...We were made for God’s love, and God’s love alone can fill that need. Only after experiencing and knowing the unconditional love that God has for us, the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us on earth, can we begin to love others with the same quality of unconditional love. true love is not sought or found just like that. It’s created by any 2 individuals by accepting the ‘imperfections’ and by trying to adjust, co-operate, understand, trust and above all to sacrifice for one another for any given cause with great patience. When all this is put together we do get ‘Love’. and when we do anything for the person whom we love without expecting much in return, that’s true love or unconditional love…..that of Jesus Christ, who died for our sins. to…Suffer, Struggle and Sacrifice. true love is making sure they know they are loved and being with that person this long because you want their happiness and giving of yourself and also trusting in God and making sure he is the head of us both. and giving the spouse freedom to do what they like too Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH, EACH ONE of you, WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need.Let no unwholesome word......

Words: 1483 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

What Is Love

...What Is Love? I. 1 corinthians 13: 4-7 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. II. Who wrote corinthians, and why? Paul wrote the book of love.1 Corinthians illuminates the early church's efforts to define itself, not only in terms of doctrine, but also allegiance to spiritual leaders such as Peter, Paul, Apollos and Jesus.[2] A significant portion of the preceding chapter (1 Corinthians 12:1-10) focuses on the issue of spiritual gifts, and there appear to have been interpersonal conflicts based upon the possession of such gifts, including speaking in tongues or prophecy.[3] Paul tells his audience that they may have all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but unless they first have love, these gifts mean nothing. A. Paul wrote it sometime from A.D. 49-57 A.D. B. significant portion pertaining to gifts C. the corinthians were occupied with the gifts 1.there was conflict. III. Faith can move mountains but without love its nothing. IV. our definition of the verses 4-8 V. "The greatest of these are love." a. def of faith 1.the worlds definition; confidence or trust in a person or thing: biblical definition; hebrews 11:1 b. definition of hope; the worlds definition; A feeling of......

Words: 293 - Pages: 2